did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize