I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
