what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize