I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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