ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
