its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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