We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
