People with herpes should wear stickers.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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