so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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