I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
