your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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