idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
