so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize