thus making me awesome and them whores
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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