Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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