Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
