Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
