You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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