I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
