yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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