Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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