the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize