the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
