I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
