shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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