you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
