So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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