No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
