I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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