I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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