i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
