So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
