John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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