I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
