is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
