I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
