im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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