i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
