I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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