I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
