I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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