i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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