why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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