i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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