Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
