Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
