I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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