U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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