I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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