there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize