I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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