Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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