fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
