im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
