My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize