Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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