just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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