I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
