Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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