I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
