butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
