we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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