Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
