i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
