is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's just like the Real World with babies
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
