I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
