If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
