We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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