Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
wow bdsm is so cute
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