I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
